Trans joy and the search for a new middle name

Choosing a new name has been a fun act of self-definition. And maybe a step closer to no longer getting email for so many other people named Joshua Simmons, too. (One can dream.)

I chose Robin as my new first name because it doesn't tell you anything about gender, it feels dignified, and I love the sound. I'm a bird enthusiast who loves the bright orange chest, the birdsong, and the association with spring and renewal. Over a decade of thinking about robins in relation with my old business name, Bluebird, probably primed me.

And I decided to use use my old middle name, Riley, as my last name... because... why not. I always liked Riley but didn't want to come off as pretentious for sharing my whole damn name all the time. Riley clearly signals where my most of my family immigrated from way back when, and ... it feels kinda cheeky? Unclear why. (Incidentally, I do enjoy rye whiskey, and yes Riley and rye are related.)

So now the question is ... what do I put between "Robin" and "Riley?"

I'm giving myself some time to figure that out as I work through other aspects of gender transition. I'm not ready to file all the paperwork, so there's time.

I feel like there's more room to play when it comes to a middle name, and I've been vaguely thinking the lines: themes of hope, aspiration, perseverance. Maybe a sensation, or something you can feel? Maybe another natural theme, or something from mythology or literature. Maybe not another 2 syllable name, to give it some more variation when spoken. And probably not another name beginning with the letter R, though Regicide feels awfully compelling right now.

The only things that have stuck with me are to date: Hope, Day, and Daybreak.

Anyway. The news has been pretty bleak for trans people in the US, and Governor Newsom – as the elected executive of the state that's supposed to stand between us and a federal administration that wants us dead – just threw us all under the bus in a mediocre podcast with a prominent and virulent bigot.

So, I figured I'd have some fun today! I invited folks on the Social Web to offer suggestions, and they delivered – lots of fun suggestions, some that really nail the vibe, and a few that are truly beautiful.

Here was the prompt:

OK just for fun: I'm still casting about for a new middle name before I begin the legal name change process. Chat, got any suggestions? Something visceral that evokes renewal? Hope? Aspiration? Idk. What would you do?!

And here's what folks came up with!

• T., short for Tardigrade, which is a whole mood, right (from Annette)
• Two middle names to end up with RAWR (from Nick)
• Bitey, which might be wearing my heart on my sleeve too much (from David)
• D, so folks think I'm really into Red Dead Redemption (from another David)
• & as in R&R, which YES PLEASE AND THANK YOU! (from Estelle)
• Danger or Hopepunk, which both feel very very me (from Katie)
• Hood, Abank, Wehadababyeetsaboy, which LOL I can get onboard with this Robinhood stuff (from Tyrel)
• Underscore, evocative of the corporate email address LOL (from Brett)
• N as in RNR and rock'n'roll 🤘🏻 (from Jochen)
• Espada, Lamperouge, Roronoa – some intrigue! (from Eugenus)
• Redonkulous ... and I mean when in Rome, right? (from Benno)
• Deicide, which is pretty bad ass, frankly (from Eddie)
• Rockin, Therich, Emblind, and I'm definitely down with the Robin Therich LOL (from James)
• Oleander, Apollo, and Esperanza – a really powerful set and I must say I'm taken with Oleander and I'm tempted by Apollo even if one of my dear friends already used it to name her kid 🤔 (from Amber)
• Joy, which has a kind of continuity with my former name (from Alyssa)

I'm still getting some more suggestions, so I'll update this post for a few days yet. Feel free to email or comment on the blog post, too!

It's a useful source of levity and, in some cases, genuinely compelling! 💖